‘And At Once, I Knew I Was Not Magnificent,’ Justin Vernon & My Writing Music

halloween

that Christmas dawn

In Justin Vernon’s lyrics, there are hallmarks to the holidays. So often he cites religious themes throughout stanzas. From his song “Heavenly Father” to even the line “it harms me like a lamb” from “00000 Million,” Vernon’s religious and spiritual upbringing resonates from the small Wisconsin cabin he called home for the winter of 2006-2007 until now.

in the swampy august dawn

The above line from “Towers” echoes of the inaugural 2015 Eaux Claire festival and the North Tower dorm my brother and I stayed in. The Eaux Claire college had struck a deal with the organizers of Justin Vernon’s 2-day, summer festival on renting out the dormitory rooms.

“It’s about a bottle of wine and some virginity,” he’s quoted as saying live before he breaking into an acoustic rendition of “Towers” the song, maybe even played on a steel guitar.

The north and south tower dorms are where Vernon stayed and began his college days as a teenager, taking up religious and women’s studies as majors. Their proper names are David Karlgaard Tower (north) and Marilyn Karlgaard Tower (south.) Legend and myth have it Vernon stayed in the south tower, but knew a girl in the north. Or vice versa. Or so it goes.

Moreover, Vernon’s use of the banjo in his cover of Peter Gabriel’s “Come Talk To Me” made me believe in the twangy instrument again, as a relevant and stand-alone piece of beauty.

My grandfather had a banjo and case hidden beneath one of my uncles’ childhood beds in my grandmother’s attic a long, long time ago and, after my grandfather died, my cousin and I used to play around with it as kids during holiday family get togethers.

It’s that same banjo and case that I saw the shadow of when I was 5 once during a sleepover that made me think of ghosts.

i reach out through the border fence

See, Justin’s story, not only his music, is what inspires me. It’s why live tracks of his performances on certain songs cycle through my writing playlist to this day. From his limited self-release of For Emma, Forever Ago in 2007 until this day, I follow his life and interviews, his career and growth.

And he’s hit some roadblocks. In many recent interviews, he cites extreme medical anxiety during tours around the album release of 22, A Million in 2016. There’s also his friendship with Kanye that many would not speak of.

come on skinny love just last the year

It’s a line to the song “Skinny Love,” the third track of For Emma, Forever Ago, that clearly describes a love lost in youth. Maybe on youth? But definitely lost. And that’s exactly why Bon Iver retreated to his father’s Wisconsin cabin that 2006 good winter, for the French bon hiver, because of something lost, maybe himself.

It’s a greeting from the show “Northern Exposure,” an award winning TV series from the early 90’s, that Vernon had tapes of in the cabin.

heard about a day where it dropped the know

When he arrived, I mean really arrived, as an artist he had self-recorded the first entire album, gritty with an acoustic guitar and falsetto voice, later signing to the Jagjaguwar label the following year. But he kept going from there, eventually earning a Grammy for Best Alternative Music Album in 2012 for his, and the newly formed band’s, self-titled album Bon Iver, Bon Iver.

I saw Bon Iver’s first ever live performance of “Heavenly Father” at the 2015 festival. He opened with it. And I remember some of those lines, those bright lights glowing and fading upwards and down. We travelled fourteen hours by car and waited two days and a night for this like a pilgrimage.